When is growing up too fast???
Personal Essay 3 Draft 2
It seems that over the past few years kids keep growing up faster and faster. From the short skirts we put them in starting from birth that keep getting shorter and sexier as they approach middle school. Since when is a mini skirt that barely covers a child’s ass okay? We have reached a point of holding so little respect for ourselves that we would let our children walk out of the house looking like miniature prostitutes. Children’s clothing companies now design mother-daughter clubbing outfits so that mothers and daughters can go out to the clubs together, and I am not talking about Club Libby Lu. We have become so beauty conscious that we resort to making our children take all means necessary, not stopping short of cosmetic surgery and makeup, so they look perfect. In our society kids are not able to kids anymore.
Throughout the past few decades our image of what’s beautiful has become so skewed that the more bones that are almost protruding through your skin because there is no fat insulating them the more beautiful you are. How do we expect our children after being subjected to this feel? Are we really in so much denial that we believe that our children will not be affected by both this and our constant need for perfection in ourselves through our bodies? According to the website Healthy Place “Parents play a detrimental role, when they create an environment which emphasizes thinness and dieting or excessive exercise as a way to attain the desired body. Specifically, parents may comment on the child’s weight or body shape and this tends to become more common as the children get older.“(Reviewing)
We are supposed to tell our children that they are beautiful the way they are yet now we tell them, “maybe you should lose a little weight.” Why are you eating that, it will make you fat! You are ugly without plastic surgery, no one will want you! We wonder why the eating disorder rate in teenagers has skyrocketed in recent years. Around the country there has been a steady increase in children with eating disorders. Some doctors have even seen children as young as eight years old come in with bulimia. Although both eating disorders can be fatal, it is even more so when it is a young child because they do not understand what they are doing so therapy does not work as much as with teens and adults.
According to Healthy Place, there are certain things that a parent must do in order to either treat or prevent eating disorders in their children which are “create a healthy eating lifestyle…never skip meals, keep your lifestyle active…spend quality time with your child…never force your child to eat…do not criticize your own or your child’s weight, shape or size…encourage your child to become aware of his/her feelings.” (When) These seven things are very important for the parents to know because they are simple things and they are things that can be overlooked in our fast paced society. I used to think that you did not have to tell a parent to spend quality time with their child but with the pace of our society it seems to be very easy for the children to get lost in the shuffle. Our children should never be a second thought they should be a primary thought equal to the thoughts of your self.
I know I have mentioned it twice before but I think it bares repeating the things you say to a child about their weight, shape, or size is never a joke and those words will stay with your child for the rest of their lives. They need all the positive encouragement they can get from their home surroundings because we all know how harsh the outside world can be. There are many people who believe that it is better for the child to get toughened up by someone making fun of them but how does that help the child? It will either make them become a bully who makes fun of other kids or it will make the child so self conscious that they will develop an eating disorder either way it will not be the desired outcome.
Our thoughts that we have about ourselves in regards to our weight, size, and shape can also be detrimental to our children because we don’t always know we have these feelings because they are a part of who we are. As quoted on Healthyplace.com, Colleen Thompson stated “that parents who are themselves preoccupied with body image and weight increase the ranks of childhood anorexics.” (When) As evidenced here we see that what we might know we think or say can be very hurtful to our children because they are constantly mimicking adults and we would never want our children to mimic and eating disorder without even knowing that it is a bad thing.
Anorexia has even been found in children as young as four years old so we no longer have the notion that just because our child is young it can not have an eating disorder. The younger the child begins with strange eating habits and body dysmorphic thoughts the greater their risk of developing a serious life threatening eating disorder when they hit their teenage years. Youth used to be all about happiness and running and playing outside but what have we done to our children so that now all they do is worry about how they look? According to Abigail Natenshon,
“80 percent of 3rd – 6th graders are reported to be dissatisfied with their body, shape, or size. By the time girls are 9 years old, 30 – 40 percent of them have been on diets. The statistic jumps to 80 percent in girls who are ages 10 – 16. With girls reaching puberty at younger ages, it has become natural for youngsters under age 10 to grow increasingly concerned about bodily changes in a society that requires girls to grow thinner as they grow older. Most young girls do not realize that it is normal for pubescent girls to gain 20 percent of their weight in fat.”(Fat Fears)
This notion is very scary to me because why should a nine-year old even know what a diet is let alone be on one. This is very symbolic for how our children’s childhoods are being stolen away from them because they should, in fourth grade, be more worried about what they want to do when they grow up then about the way they look. The final statement that Natenshon makes is most striking because they are not educated to know that this is normal or there might not be as much of a problem as there is now.
Childhood should be about unenviable happiness. It should be the kind of happiness that you spend your whole adulthood trying to recapture. Why is it that we take this from our children hoping to feel it for ourselves? If we are in constant search for it, don’t we realize that our children will too, but yet we still take it? Don’t we realize that we are continuing the cycle where there is no happy ending for either individual?
Our children deserve everything in the world and it is our job to give it to them, although many have been failing miserably at this. We must give it to them constructively so that they can make better decisions in their adult lives. We all started from their age and one day they will be our age so they need to develop the same skills that we have. Although this is true we must look at the time table for this “knowledge”. Do we tell our 5 year old all the troubles in the world that they most likely may fail at a lot of things they try to do? The answer is no but you don’t want to tell a 30 year old that because by then it may be too late. Timing is everything.
Add a comment April 8, 2008
My Book Review
Although for some reason my first one didn’t show up on the blog I am putting it first and then I will do the revisions under it. I will try to make the separation as clear as possible.
First Draft of Review
Although this novel was written many years ago the struggles of the characters still remain true. WIth all the twists and turns in this novel you will be swept up in the book. The novel contains the quest for marriage by the Bennett sisters. SInce they are women they will not recieve an inheritance so they need to marry in order to have money to survive. Things get interesting with the story when Mr.Darcy arrives. This novel is a necessary for men and women of any age. The novel pulls you in from the first page and you can’t put it down to the left.
Second Draft of Review
The novel Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen is the story of 5 sisters during the 1800s in search of husbands. Since they are women they will not receive an inheritance so they need to marry in order to have money to survive. The novel mostly revolves around the oldest sister Elizabeth whose quirk and sense of humor draws the reader in from the first scene. She acts untypical of the women of her time and although this sometimes gets her into trouble it never hinders her from looking out for her sisters and trying to further the interests of her family.
This is a conversation between Elizabeth Bennett and her love interest in the novel Mr. Darcy. “Elizabeth was much too embarrassed to say a word. After a short pause, her companion added, “You are too generous to trifle with me. If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes are unchanged, but one word from you will silence me on this subject forever.” Elizabeth feeling all the more than common awkwardness and anxiety of his situation, now forced herself to speak; and immediately, though not very fluently, gave him to understand, that her sentiments had undergone so material a change, since the period to which he alluded, as to make her receive with gratitude and pleasure, his present assurances.”I read it because I had been told by many people that it was a really good book, so I sat down and read. The first time I read it I didn’t see all the hype about it but as I read it many many times again it captured my heart. It is a novel that I still see its relevance today. Although this novel was written many years ago the struggles of the characters still remain true. With all the twists and turns in this novel you will be swept up in the book. This novel is a necessary for men and women of any age. The novel pulls you in from the first page and you can’t put it down to the left. Although everyone no matter young or old or male or female should read it was originally meant for women between the ages of 16-45 who enjoyed love stories that contained some humor. This is a novel that I can’t put down once I start reading it and I know it will be the same with you.
1 comment April 3, 2008
The Words of Martin Luther King
Claim-”We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny.”(83)
–”…but we still creep at horse-and-buggy pace .”(86)
Agreement- “To long as our beloved Southland been bogged down in a tragic effort to live in monologue rather than dialogue.”(85)
–”Abused and scorned though we may be, our destiny is tied up with America’s destiny.”(97)
Disagreement- “You deplore the demonstrations taking place in Birmingham “(83)
–”How we have blemished and scarred that body through social neglect and through fear of being non conformists. “(96)
Recommendation- “I doubt that you would so quickly commend the policemen if you were to observe their ugly and inhumane treatment of Negroes here in the city jail.”(98)
–”We know though painful experiences that freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor: it must be demanded by the oppressed.” (86)
Many people believe that children should be seen and not heard but nowadays the the web is strewn with 12-13 year old girls posing provocatively. Since when has this evolved into the norm that no one dares to question. We allow our children to do what they want because our parents may not have let us but it is irresponsible and reckless to condone this type of behavior. Children receive negative images about how they should look and it should be our prerogative as role models to depict proper behavior.
1 comment March 27, 2008
Dialogue an be powerful
It is the summer before my senior year of high school and my mom is cleaning out the spare bedroom. I ask her why and she tells me that my parents are separating and that she will be sleeping in that room until the divorce is finalized. I found it weird that just sleeping in a different room could be considered separation because you are still living in the same house.
I ask her “Mom why are you moving all your stuff in here?”
“Mara it is something you will understand when you are older that when you settle you never get what you want.”
I look at her puzzled “What do you mean mom?”
“Don’t ever settle with love of life. you deserve so much more than that. I settled and that is why I am moving in here because I refuse to settle anymore. I don’t regret having you kids but I regret that I couldn’t have given you guys a better father.” The tears begin trickling down her face.
“It’s ok mom, I understand,” I say as run to give her a hug.
I don’t believe that I even understand now. As the months slowly pass by they are divorced before my 18th birthday that January. Looking back at it now I see that it was so short a time but it felt like forever then.
Add a comment February 28, 2008
Simple words, Unsimple ideas
1. Life is ending.
2. Why think ahead when you can think behind?
3. What is a blessing?
4. Life is a box of challenges wrapped up in achievements.
5. Better to run to life than to run from it.
6. A lie is only truth to the one who is believes it.
7. A lie is like a clock that ticks backwards.
8. Truth is like love it always finds a way.
9. Divorce is like an apple that was chosen too soon.
10. Suicide is the end of the line.
11. Suicide is a poor man’s excuse to not keep fighting.
12. Believe in others so that they can believe in themselves.
13. Times flies by quicker as the days of our lives continue to tick by.
14.Life is all about the struggles that define us.
15. When is it ok to give up?
16. Time will come to be me.
17. Depression is a part of me but it does not make me.
18.The greatest reward is the conclusion of a challenge.
19. Dream high and rewards will also come high.
20. Love every moment for tomorrow is never a promise.
21.Life’s chances are about taking opportunities.
22. Tomorrow is today renewed.
23. The world surrounds you, seep into it.
24. Without struggles life would be perfect but would it be worth it.
25. Every day brings with it the chance of change
Add a comment February 14, 2008
Your eyes are like the center of a daisy
Descriptive Scene
As we walk I feel the sand crystals slowly smoothing away my worries. With each stride our paths intertwine as the sun chases us. As the rays engulf us I feel my body become hotter. The sweet breeze drifting off the blue expanse soothes away my cares until I turn and your face traps me. The silkiness of your face and your bronzed features draw the eye closer. As I stare into those brown windows to your soul, I fall in love with you again. Those two simple circles seem to be calling to me and I can’t say no. As your strong arms surround me I know that there is no place I would rather be but here.
Add a comment February 7, 2008
Scenes of my life
Then
It is February 15,2003 and my mother and I are out at the store shopping. We are perusing through the racks when my mother’s phone begins to ring. The screen read “Wally calling”. I figured it was nothing important because it was my uncle calling and it was the day after my mom’s birthday so I figured he was calling to say Happy Birthday but my mother’s face displayed something different. Her face was suddenly drained of color and I begged her to tell me what was wrong. She got off the phone and told me that my cousin had been missing and since the previous day and was found dead in the woods. It had been the coldest night that winter and he had froze to death. We later found out that he was suffering from bipolar disorder and had decided to end his life so he drank large quantities of alcohol which mixed with his medication made him disoriented and he sat down in the middle of the woods and froze. This is a day that will forever remain in my mind.
Now
I wake to my mother tapping me on the shoulder telling me it is time to get ready to go to Mohegan Sun with my grandfather. I jump up shower, get dressed and pick up my grandfather and we are on our way there. The ride feels endless but we finally arrive there and the excitement my grandfather has is contagious. We enter the lights and noise and feel exuberant. Our minds are filled with thought that today may be our lucky day. We roam from machine to machine until I win $100, my mother wins $150, and my grandpa wins $135 which he consequently puts all back in. I was so happy to see him enjoying himself because I knew he was having surgery on Monday which both him and I and the rest of my family were very worried about.
1 comment January 30, 2008
My world of self-contradiction
I feel the need to separate from my mom but at the same time feel a need to be close to her too. I want to be me but I have to always remember that I came from her. She is the one who has taken care of me from when I was a child. She is the one that makes sure I have everything that I need. When and how do you separate your life from someone who has made it.
I am in a constant struggle to be me in the world. Who is Mara? Mara is a student, a daughter, a sister, a girlfriend, a grandchild, a friend. My role as daughter is in constant conflict with my role as girlfriend. In the former I am inferior and in the latter I am an equal. this struggle I face everyday but I think it is something that further defines me as a person in the world today.
I guess everyone has something about their lives that contradict other parts of their life.If everyone’s life was perfect it would be a boring world. There would be no debates because everyone would not have anything to complain about or to fight for. Although I think it is better not to have war I also think it is good to have contradictions in society because that is what makes each person in society individuals.
1 comment January 17, 2008
